Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
