her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize