That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize