it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
