i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
