this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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