Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
