Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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