just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
