Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my being single is dangerous.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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