Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
