Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
