She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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