We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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