fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize