I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
nutella sex= disaster
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
