maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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