We won't sleep together?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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