Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
