He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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