i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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