I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
