hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
