Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
