Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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