things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
