ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
