I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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