you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
