You made me cry and you don't even care
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
