I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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