8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
love makes seman taste better
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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