He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you win again, gameday.
So many bounce houses so little time
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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