when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
