1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
