Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've blown a few things in my day
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize