Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
