My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize