When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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