Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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