She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
