Jerry, you need to find god
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
