so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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