our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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