Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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