people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
