Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
