You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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