We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
