Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
