I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize