oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
