Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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