I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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