The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
