Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
