Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
