Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
