your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
