Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
