He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize