wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
