Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
