This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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